Mantra Knitting

Have you ever noticed a theme in your life? One that keeps hitting you over the head, screaming to be noticed? Well, the last few weeks (maybe months, maybe years) have continually reminded me that it is okay to stop, evaluate, and begin again. From career changes to moving states to knitting projects – the overarching theme has been resilience in the face of change.

Last week, I successfully frogged and restarted the wrist warmer project for my mom. The original yarn selection, an Amazon find, proved to lack the resilience needed for multiple restarts. The ply continued to grow loose and weary from the stress of starting again. I watched the change in the yarn, and I couldn’t help but think of my own spirit, ragged from trying again…and again…to find my way.

In the last two years, my life has transformed drastically. First, we moved to a new state. I love the location of my new home. I am surrounded by beautiful beaches, warm sunshine, and a huge blue sky. Yet, things have not settled into “normal” quite yet. Small tasks feel bigger than they used to, and I still haven’t found my community here. Then, I left my career. I left with hopes that I could plot a new path, one that felt aligned with my creative spirit. But, inevitably, fear creeps up as I look into the void of the unknown and wonder how to start fresh when I feel stuck in the world I know best.

Oddly enough, my professional career focused on change and transformation. I am certified in organizational change management, and I have coached many others on how to succeed in a fast-past, ever-changing environment. I’ve created entire strategies for organizations with an understanding that change is hard but worth it. I know what causes humans to resist change, and I often apply these concepts to all aspects of life. But, this knowledge doesn’t make me immune to the emotions of living on the roller coaster nor does it evade the discomfort of change as it happens.

These life changes, all welcomed and chosen by me, require grit and determination. They require me to bounce back, with continued enthusiasm, from failed attempts or wrong turns along the way. I must be more resilient than the poorly spun yarn and have confidence in my own purpose, even if I have yet to define it.

For the wrist warmers, I bought new yarn and have successfully finished the pair. Some challenges are easier to solve than others, I guess. As for my own resilience, I set a new intention today – be fearless in starting over.

“Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again” – Nelson Mandela