There are a million examples of facing uncertainty in life. Will a relationship last? Will a new job be the right fit? Will a tough conversation go as planned? Questions like these plague us all, and yet, we push through the uncertainty, in hopes that it will work out.
In my knitting life, uncertainty is a part of every project. At the beginning, I look at a pattern with both enthusiasm and trepidation. Will I be able to translate these instructions through my hands? Will this yarn give me the desired fabric? Will I stay engaged and finish? Sometimes, the uncertainty wanes with every successful row. Other times, it increases as new challenges appear.
My current project, the Step-by-Step sweater by Florence Miller, was intentionally selected as a simple pattern to settle into after finishing the chart-intensive Poet Scarf. I went into it with complete confidence, particularly since raglan shaping is my most-practiced garment construction. To my surprise, uncertainty entered the room after completing the raglan increases.
Although I appeared to get proper gauge with my gauge swatch, the sweater is…..well, small. With the intention of 6 inches of positive ease, I chose size 2, based on my measurements. Somehow, the sweater has negative ease, meaning it is forced to stretch to fit me. I don’t know how I went so far astray, but I haven’t stopped knitting it. And, I haven’t even considered frogging (i.e., ripping it out and starting over) yet.
There is some hope that the superwash wool grows during blocking. Although it seems like a tall task to grow so much, I am still holding out hope. And I suppose it is this optimism that is allowing me to sit with the uncertainty. Maybe it will work out? And, if it doesn’t, I still get to have the experience.
This project has reminded me of the power of optimism through uncertainty. There is beauty in the becoming, beyond the outcome. There is growth in the trying, even if it doesn’t work out as expected.
So, I continue through the uncertain moments of both knitting and life. Moving forward. Growing. Hopeful.
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